Life & Death
It has been a while since I have written here! I thought it appropriate to start journaling about my life as I face the possibility I may have breast cancer! It was only 6 months from when I was suppose to get my mammogram and I sensed! I kept reminding myself set up the appointment! And I would say, I do not want to be exposed to unnecessary radiation!
A week ago I went in for my routine mammogram and yes, I was called back in for another one! I new I had something because my breast had a lump! The MD confirmed, the ultrasound showed a wide area of change! I am now getting ready for a breast biopsy so the MD can test if it is cancer!
My sister has just finished chemo! How could this be? The oldest girl in the family and now, me, the youngest girl in the family! I first was in denial but then it hit me, death! Will I make it? What will happen to my daughter? How will she feel having to say goodbye to her mother? Last year, my daughter kept saying, "Mommy, I do not want you to die!" Where did this worry come from? Could she sense?
I have moments of sadness and then moments of trust! I have moments of doubt and moments of anger! I sense the universal love of God and acknowledgement I could die! But also, I could survive!